Skeptical Investor Gifts

Investment firm - Dept. of Rumor Research and Verification.

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

'Why do you keep wasting your money on this rubbish?'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

Stock market investment advice

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

I think I'll make my own share selection.

Investments: Free Box Of Cuban Cigars If You Invest In Our 'Cuba Fund'.

'I'd rather hear about the more relevant pyramiding schemes.'

Truth in labeling: If it sounds too good to be true. . . investments, stocks, bonds & mutual funds - formally fly-by nite investments.

'Tell you what, if you buy these flats through us, I'll throw in London bridge.'

Some black sheep at the financial consulting branch are working with cheap tricks.

"My broker swears they're a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.