Business Idea Skeptic Gifts

'I was afraid this wouldn't work.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

The suggestion box.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

Suggestions Box

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

Suggestion box.

"Multi-level marketing!"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"My kid could have done that with AI."

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Out of Focus Group

'And now, Henderson will introduce his 25-part plan on spontaneity.'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'