Skateboarding Skeptic Pillows

'I think my wife is trying to kill me -- she bought me a skateboard.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Skate Bored

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'I'd kill for concrete.'

"You're pathetic."

*Sigh*

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

Snakeboarding.

"She's not the perfect wife, but at least she's not always buying shoes."

Let's do it.'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

Skateboard English

'Wow, thanks for finding my skateboard, daddy!'

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

Skateboarder discovers his local 'Skate Park' is occupied by parked flatfish.

'Harold arrives home from work early now. He solved all his commuting and exercise problems at once.'

A skateboarder falling on his head

Dog on a skateboard.

Man cold medicine.

Skateboarding

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

'Regarding your skateboarding accident: I need a note from your wife as to why you did something so stupid.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'Have you got something that smells like a skateboard?'

'She's still a little annoyed with you for breaking her skateboard!'

'Why is it that if someone tells you there are one billion billion stars in our universe alone, you believe them, but if they tell you a door has wet paint, you touch it to make sure!'

'Dude! You forgot your helmet!'