Speeding Skeptic Pillows

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

Speed Cameras in traffic jams.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Diner is served

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Here's a picture of my mom before Photoshop!'