Speed Reading Skeptic Pillows

"I'm afraid there's a fine to pay. This book about speed reading is overdue."

Library Returns

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

Church Drive-Thru.

Rapid reading center.

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"Just give me the broad strokes."

"Idolistentopodcastsatdoublespeed. How'dyouknow?"

"The secret to speed reading is skipping every other page."

'Bud's body is in a pretty good shape; it's his mind that needs work.'

A man reading whilst running on the word LIBRARY

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

"I'm entering the school talent show!"

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'Is your boyfriend working late?' 'No... He's a slow reader.'

'I did a push-up once - It didn't do me any good at ALL!'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"The 10-week course costs $600 and takes an hour and a half to complete."