Sneaker Skeptic Pillows

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

Man says his pockets aren't big enough to fit a lady's tennis shoes.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

"She's not the perfect wife, but at least she's not always buying shoes."

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

"There are our running shoes and these are our running shoes for running."

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

Snail Shoes

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"I'm asking Papi for $30 to buy this science kit!"

'Yeah. A bit over-the-top for a guy who wouldn't run if he were being chased by a pack of wild dogs in a hailstrom, but very nice.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

Signs that your sneakers are far too expensive. . .

Role Reversal Horseshoe Game

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?