Skateboard Skeptic Pillows

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

Skate Bored

'OK, now you've seen it...'

'I'd kill for concrete.'

"You're pathetic."

*Sigh*

Descartes's Demon

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

"She's not the perfect wife, but at least she's not always buying shoes."

Let's do it.'

Snakeboarding.

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

Ponzi Schemes Inc

Skateboarder discovers his local 'Skate Park' is occupied by parked flatfish.

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

Skateboard English

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

'Wow, thanks for finding my skateboard, daddy!'

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

'Harold arrives home from work early now. He solved all his commuting and exercise problems at once.'

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'

'Regarding your skateboarding accident: I need a note from your wife as to why you did something so stupid.'

"Your god can't stop his own priests from raping children in his own churches. So what makes you think he can help you find your T.V. remote?"

Skateboarding

'Seventy three percent of statistics are made up on the spot.'

Man cold medicine.

"So is Cameron Diaz really a babe, or is that another thing we've been led to believe by the biased media?"

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa