Sitcoms Gifts

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Men Behaving Acceptably.

Down with canned laughter.

'His throne's in storage -- he's sitting in the original Archie Bunker chair.'

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

'I switched it to a TV cable modem, and now it just watches 'I Love Lucy' all day!'

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

'I can't believe they made a sequel.'

"How many new sitcoms will it make before they find a decent one?" "About twenty something"

Father and son watching a TV sitcom

Men Behaving Acceptably.

'Ironic that these days as soon as you hear an audience laughing at a new comedy, you know it isn't funny.'

An indication that the reading class is catering to the lowest common denominator.

"I couldn't believe it either, but Heaven really is a dumbed-down book fair."

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"These days nothing says unfunny more than the sound of people laughing."

Alf Garnish

"That's the remote control he's holding. He could never rest in peace without it."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"How many times are you going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

"How many times are young going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

"This one allows release of your information to a sitcom."

Limit your results by. . .

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"I first felt truly Jewish when I saw Ozzie and Harriet on television."

"Yet it's magically okay when Mrs. Maisel & Susie talk like that."

Barney Fife

"We've agreed, then—earthlings cannot join the Intergalactic Federation until they've improved the quality of their sitcoms."

"She died doing what she loved."

"Not tonight I've got a headache"

'Disgusting! It's a blow-by-blow description of an episode of Terry and June.'