Sitcom Savvy Gifts

'Genetically-altered mice, capable of understanding rudimentary sitcoms.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Applause

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Now that's Real TV!'

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

Situation Tragedy.

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Haywatch

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'Shakespeare's Tragedies and Sitcoms.' 'The Bard sells out.'

Larry David

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'