Satirical Savvy Gifts

Pension burden on young news headline. Young woman to Cosmetic Surgeon 'Can you make me old?'

'They are not pilgrims. They are pilgrim$!'

Armstrong, the income gap between rich and poor is the worst since the Depression. And? It's economically and politically unstable. Something's got to give. Or someone. Pardon? I'd like a raise for the good of the country. No. But nicely played.

'Is that all I get for my £25 donation, Lord Cheapskate Bastard!'

Recycling bins - aluminum, plastic, CEO.

British savings accounts

Copycats

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

Skeptic Tank.

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

Under new blame.

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Coronavirus Windmills

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Illogic Tree

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."