Savvy Satirist Gifts

"We've just been given the Christmas menu....Do you want your beans on toast with festive mint sauce?"

Copycats

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Sock Puppet in Literature

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Coleridge'

William Makepeace Thackeray.

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

Waiting Room For Godot.

'It's funny because it's true.'

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Thank god for Sudoku."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 3

It's academic

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

"How do you respond to critics who claim you're just trying to scare people?"

"He was murdered with one of the rejection slips he sent."

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

Department of Disinformation Looms Over the Department of Information.

"A cartoon about Brexit, Syria, refugees, Yemen, France... Anything but Trump!"

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'

"This book is the future of literature. It is paper-free to help save the planet and completely free of words and images so no one is offended."

'I'll publish it if you include a character obviously based on me.'