Satirical Satire Expert Gifts

Kill Bill

Copycats

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Skeptic Tank.

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Reese Witherspoon

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

German School

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."