Satire Expert Gifts

'Two-tier NHS.'

The One Republican Who Can Defeat Donald Trump

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Copycats

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Pretty Flowers

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The height of fashion in 1796

"Gee, thanks pal."

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Skeptic Tank.

Meat Grinder

Turkish Democracy