Satirical Genius Gifts

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

"We shall now commence throwing money at the problem."

Prisoner still life painting.

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Court is in session. Defense is shirts and plaintiffs are skins.'

"Anti-Vexxers!"

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Shampoo.

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Reverse psychology

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Strainspotting

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'