Comedy Genius Gifts

"I'm going green, too. I'm finally going to mow the lawn."

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

Shampoo.

"It's so cold, I don't even feel stupid wearing this hat."

"Guess what, Bob? We were able to raise the funding we need by selling your body on the dark web!"

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Candid Camera store.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

Thumbing a Lift.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

Prisoner still life painting.

After I crossed the road, I began to ask myself why I did anything.

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

Jokes machine.

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'