Sitcom Writer Gifts

Gilligan's Elevator.

How's the writer's block?

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

"Did you say these writers are from Uranus?"

Zombie standup

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

How I met your mother

Situation Tragedy.

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

America's funniest election gaffes

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

Soldiers' Ego

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'