Sitcom Writer Gifts

Gilligan's Elevator.

How's the writer's block?

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

"Did you say these writers are from Uranus?"

Zombie standup

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

Beam me up. Scotty!

America's funniest election gaffes

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Situation Tragedy.

How I met your mother

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

John Cleese.

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Soldiers' Ego

Menopause and the City

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

Larry David

John Laurie

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'