Sitcom Critic Gifts

Father and son watching a TV sitcom

Down with canned laughter.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

American Idle.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Amateurs."

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Can't Touch This

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Non Thought For The Day.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Can't Touch This

Christmas TV...

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

How I met your mother

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'