Sincerity Seeker Gifts

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

'The secret of success is sincerity. ...and if you don't have it, fake it.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Turn, turn and turn.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Astral Projection

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Zenemies.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Tiny Visions

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...