Sincerity Gifts

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Club Antisocial

Turn, turn and turn.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

A vampire in a canoe.

"Any questions?"

Crowded Ice Fishing

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Showoff"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

"I've seen this one."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Yogi back in 5.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Relax.