Humility Seeker Gifts

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Turn, turn and turn.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

The World's Easiest Airport

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Crowded Ice Fishing

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Showoff"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Not much money, glory, or praise

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'Occam's famed tool of parsimony.'

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."