Humility Aficionado Gifts

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

"What did you swallow" - "My pride"

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"Great session, Doc."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Frankly, Mr. Arnold. I'm sick and tired of hearing about your pet turtle."

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

"Good news Mr Simms. Your blood pressure is down and you have a visitor."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

"I'll be back later, dear. I'm going out to build some humility."

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'Og's so modest...he won't mention it but he was the very first to discover fire!'

"Gifts like this ought to keep me humble."

'Brother Jerome has a problem with humility, but he can't bring himself to admit it.'

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"We ran out of hand sanitizer, so the chef prepared this with his feet."

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

True Modesty.

A man doffs his head in passing.

Funeral for the Earl of Sandwich

'We're really sorry. We were reading the 'use by date' upside down.'

"I am so past enlightenment."