Silly Sailor Gifts

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

Captain in a storm

Get crazy once in a while

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

No Money

GREENLAND

UFO Romance

'Out anniversary was yesterday.'

Sea song.

"Covid-19 on port bow!"

Franken-Cat

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

Row to Row

'Just keep howling till we get to the dock Ben.'

'You're so lucky, sea creatures only get savoury food, never sweet...'

"Thanks all the same, but I'm heading west."

101 uses of a dead cat: life ring

Clumsy boat man and anchor.

"Can I stop bailing now?"

Armed punts on the Cam keep North Korea at bay.

Parade of Boats 2:30

101 uses of a dead cat: boat

"I told you to part your hair in the middle."

Pirate Eye Test