Salty Sailor Gifts

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'You're so lucky, sea creatures only get savoury food, never sweet...'

Captain in a storm

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

Drunken singers in a public house

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

'Jam roly-poly, treacle tart, ice cream... We're in luck, it's a dessert island.'

Sailor and mine

The temporary home of the international hall of brine.

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

GREENLAND

A man staying afloat on an anchor at sea.

"Turn 15 degrees Leo... Oh, sorry. Wrong chart."

'Out anniversary was yesterday.'

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

'What type of line are you using?'

Sailing

'We can't go up yet - it's bucketing down!'

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

'I don't know why, but suddenly I have a craving for SALTWATER TAFFY.'

'O.K. let's see, it's a book, a film, it's two words...Could it be Robinson Crusoe again Graham?'

Row to Row

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

'Just keep howling till we get to the dock Ben.'

Sand sailing in the Sahara

"For the trip, I also got us two of each kind of donut."

The low sodium diet of last resort.'

Submarine and beer