Silly Gifts

Gag pitchforks.

Get crazy once in a while

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

COWMIKAZES

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

STRIP Hambone: Wind up computer

'And not only do we think you were lying when you told us Larry went on a winter vacation, we think you had something to do with it!'

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

"Well, you call it note-passing and whispering. We call it networking."

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

'Whaddya mean, 'cat-sized'???'

Gilmore Slugs

University cone dispenser

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'

'Well we never did get a flu shot.'

"Typical mail - four bills, two catalogs, and a pre-approved credit card for the dog."

'Thank you sir. His grace is in the library lighting farts.'