Being Silly Gifts

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Get crazy once in a while

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Karataoke

'I could eat you.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

"Ready...."

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

How many calories in a booger?

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

Grandad and grandson sticking out their tongues.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

A cow carrier.

'And not only do we think you were lying when you told us Larry went on a winter vacation, we think you had something to do with it!'

Eskimo fishing.

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

Gilmore Slugs

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

'Uncle Oog isn't very smart, but he's a lot of fun to play horsie with.'

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

Clown running.

University cone dispenser

'This should really freak out the bird watchers.'

'Come look dear, Ben is so comical trying to catch that bee!'

Gag pitchforks.

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'