Being Silly Gifts

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Get crazy once in a while

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'I could eat you.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Ready...."

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

How many calories in a booger?

Grandad and grandson sticking out their tongues.

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

A cow carrier.

'And not only do we think you were lying when you told us Larry went on a winter vacation, we think you had something to do with it!'

Eskimo fishing.

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

'Uncle Oog isn't very smart, but he's a lot of fun to play horsie with.'

Gilmore Slugs

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

University cone dispenser

Clown running.

'This should really freak out the bird watchers.'

Gag pitchforks.

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

'Come look dear, Ben is so comical trying to catch that bee!'

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'

"I wish my father was alive to see how lazy I could really be."