Silly At Work Gifts

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Our founder: Custard pies Ltd.

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Sleeping at the computer.

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Sat Nav: 'You will be sat down all day long...and all day tomorrow...and...'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

How many calories in a booger?

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"This is the software for my head."

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

"I don’t understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn’t on his ‘To Do’ list!"

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

'What have I told you about gambolling at work, Lambton?'

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.

"Did she tell you she was leaving work early?"

'And not only do we think you were lying when you told us Larry went on a winter vacation, we think you had something to do with it!'