Silly Sirs Gifts

'Thank you sir. His grace is in the library lighting farts.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

The Gong

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'

"I think the lines down!"

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

They were young and in love, and Harold would spend whole weekends counting the freckles on Arlene's back, Of course they were also incredibly stupid,,, Arlene only had seven freckles,

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

The Banana Crime

"Money may not make me happy, but I'd like to give it a chance."

'And not only do we think you were lying when you told us Larry went on a winter vacation, we think you had something to do with it!'

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

Gilmore Slugs

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

'This time I'm voting for sour grapes.'

'You know the saying 'He who dies with the most toys wins?' Well, THIS is what you win!'

Gag pitchforks.

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'

"I used to sit, stay and shake hands, but in the current cultural climate I chase, attack and bite."