Sibling Silliness Appreciator Pillows

'Ah, your sister wears a bra!'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

Bathroom Fairy

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'We're drying Jimmy's clothes, mom!'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's bathroom-challenged.'

"Marcy, you hurt Tommy's self esteem when you say there's a monster under your bed."

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

Sick Exhibitionist

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

Pterodactyl Pteenagers.

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"It's hard to believe the adults think he's so lovable!"

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

Those bubble wrap kids.

"Baldo, can you wash the dishes for me? Or I won't help you with your homework for a month!"

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'

"Oh, good. Here comes Daddy, to bring us to our senses."

"Youff!"

If dogs had pockets.

'Now, now, Timmy ... No poison darts at the dinner table.'