Shy Superfan Gifts

Shy author hiding while signing books.

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

Love.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Turtle Blind dates

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

Shy Man at Party

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Soccer Fans.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Die-hard soccer moms.

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

Super Bowl Monday

"He can't stop digressing."

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."

"No, no, no...it's not a trick question. I just think that your celebrity crush says a lot about what you want in another person?"

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."