Stadium Superfan Gifts

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Football supporters.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

Fan-Centric Stadium

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

Football Stadium

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'Larry, did you feel THAT? Your career just peaked! And on MY show! Isn't that fantastic?'

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

Soccer Fans.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

A baseball game is played in an ancient Roman arena; the emperor gives a thumbs-down signal, declaring a player to be out of the game

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

Die-hard soccer moms.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

"I'm pretty sure my parents' homeowners insurance will cover it."

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

Noah's Art Sports Network. Are we all set for the Super Bowl broadcast? I think so. The turtle will handle the pregame show which seems to drag on forever. A zebra will be brought on to analyze close calls referees have to make. The sloth is in charge of slow motion shots. And color will be provided by the chameleon. Thankfully, there's a retractable roof over at the stadium. That's good. The forecast says there's a possibility of a little rain.

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

I didn't think I would, but I miss being booed.

'Run for it, Vince! They've got us on the jumbotron!!'

Stadium. Food. Beer. In a fan vote, pizza was chosen as the favorite food this season. Ah, so the hot dog is make a concession speech!

'Darren always has to go one better.'

"He can't stop digressing."

'Why can't we have a simple warning track like every other team?!'