Super Bowl Superfan Gifts

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Love.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Soccer Fans.

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

'The groundhog won't come out of his hole. He's too hungover from super bowl Sunday.'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Die-hard soccer moms.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Personnel Dept. Frankly, we'd like a job so we can get into a Super Bowl pool.

"Finally, your halftime show - the Mueller report!"

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

Noah's Art Sports Network. Are we all set for the Super Bowl broadcast? I think so. The turtle will handle the pregame show which seems to drag on forever. A zebra will be brought on to analyze close calls referees have to make. The sloth is in charge of slow motion shots. And color will be provided by the chameleon. Thankfully, there's a retractable roof over at the stadium. That's good. The forecast says there's a possibility of a little rain.

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."

"He can't stop digressing."

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

'Is that true? - Did you assign my son homework over SUPERBOWL WEEKEND?'