Super Bowl Fan Gifts

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'It's an old football injury — he cut himself on a beer can while he was watching the Superbowl.'

"Good game."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Spring Training

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Uptight End"

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'