Skeptic Superfan Gifts

"Of course religious leaders are frauds. Try putting a check that is payable to 'God' in a church's collection plate and see what happens."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

Love.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Soccer Fans.

Die-hard soccer moms.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

Super Bowl Monday

Shy author hiding while signing books.

'No! Romance with malice aforethought!'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

"My wife tells me I'm a skeptic. . . but I don't believe anything she says!"

"And to think, when we met online people said it would never last."

"He can't stop digressing."

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

'Why is it that if someone tells you there are one billion billion stars in our universe alone, you believe them, but if they tell you a door has wet paint, you touch it to make sure!'

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

He's a true legend, but only the part about dubious veracity.

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

"I don't dislike you; I dislike your religion."

"...I will save you ninnies hudreds of dollars by spoiling every single upcoming superhero movie..."