Superfan Survivor Gifts

Super Bowl Monday

Love.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

Need tickets.

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

No Loitering

Matthew Perry.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

Soccer Fans.

Die-hard soccer moms.

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

Noah's Art Sports Network. Are we all set for the Super Bowl broadcast? I think so. The turtle will handle the pregame show which seems to drag on forever. A zebra will be brought on to analyze close calls referees have to make. The sloth is in charge of slow motion shots. And color will be provided by the chameleon. Thankfully, there's a retractable roof over at the stadium. That's good. The forecast says there's a possibility of a little rain.

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

Shy author hiding while signing books.

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

"He can't stop digressing."

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."