Shredding Gifts

'I really miss ripping things to shreds.'

Shredder.

'Cat Heaven.'

He kept up his guitar practise...

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Eric Clapton.

New music conference

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

The Affordable Shredder

"Shred the plank."

Johnny Winter.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'Sheep striptease'.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

Houdini's infancy.

'I don't know about you lot but I've just played Proud Mary.'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

"The food in your pantry may kill you, details tonight...on Eyewitness News!"

Musical Mestizo.

Eddie Van Halen.

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

Bill Haley

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

"Oh, no! I typed up all my New Year's Resolutions without saving copies, only to drop them in the shredder by accident! Now I'll never remember them! How clumsy of me! Oh, well!"

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

Rock on!