Paper Shredder Gifts

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Storm in the out tray

He kept up his guitar practise...

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

The Affordable Shredder

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

Whelmed and Over-Whelmed

Bureau of the Damned

In and In Too Deep Desk Organizers.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

Work avalanche

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'Sometimes I wonder what I's do without you!'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'