Paper Shredder Chuckler Gifts

"That's our paper shredder."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

In, out, shake it all about.

The Affordable Shredder

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'Fancy a swift half?'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Houdini's infancy.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

tax

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

Keyboard in Heaven

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"Around here they want things in triplicate."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"I keep getting into a flap."

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

"How's the short biographical statement coming?"

Procrastinators Anonymous