Document Shredder Gifts

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

He kept up his guitar practise...

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

The Affordable Shredder

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Houdini's infancy.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

I type 90 words per minute and shred even faster!

Investment company offers free paper shredder.

"Actually, investing can be very relaxing. Ever try to stay awake reading a prospectus?"

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

'I love my shredder, they're great for bills, too.'

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

"Why are we shredding this stuff?"

'Cat Heaven.'

The only guy left who's not online.

'Yes, this is actually a very bad time to call me...'

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?