Document Dozer Gifts

"Actually, investing can be very relaxing. Ever try to stay awake reading a prospectus?"

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Paper Trail

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Files of Doom

Bureaucratic castle

Slam Dunking the Outtray

"I have a system."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'This has been his most productive day ever. I almost hate to wake him.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"It's not a nap if I'm sitting at my desk."

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

Investment company offers free paper shredder.

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

I type 90 words per minute and shred even faster!

Man marks documents as 'Illegal', 'Sweet Spot' and 'Legal'.

"Do you accept these terms and conditions?"

"There's a loophole in there somewhere, Haskins. Pretends it's truffle."