Document Digger Gifts

These are the quills used to sign the Declaration of Independence! The founding feathers!

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

Bureaucratic castle

Files of Doom

Ernie's looking up the meaning of "palindrome". Dictionary. Aha!

"I have a system."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

I type 90 words per minute and shred even faster!

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

Investment company offers free paper shredder.

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

"Actually, investing can be very relaxing. Ever try to stay awake reading a prospectus?"

'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

Man marks documents as 'Illegal', 'Sweet Spot' and 'Legal'.

"There's a loophole in there somewhere, Haskins. Pretends it's truffle."

"Do you accept these terms and conditions?"

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."