Documentation Detective Gifts

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Information about information about information about information.