Document Detective Gifts

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

Man marks documents as 'Illegal', 'Sweet Spot' and 'Legal'.

"How long do we have to keep statements from banks that don't exist anymore?"

"There's a loophole in there somewhere, Haskins. Pretends it's truffle."

"This document proves the government knew."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."

Files of Doom

'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

'I see you have all your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'

"Can you remember who signed this document?"

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Terry had a computer bug.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."