Sheet Shredder Gifts

Houdini's infancy.

He kept up his guitar practise...

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

The Affordable Shredder

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Johnny Winter.

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Shredder.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'I don't know about you lot but I've just played Proud Mary.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

Bill Haley

A cat composer

Musical Mestizo.

Eddie Van Halen.

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

"The food in your pantry may kill you, details tonight...on Eyewitness News!"

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

Rock on!

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

'Cat Heaven.'