Mail Shredders Gifts

"I've been preapproved for another credit card apparently because I have a pulse."

He kept up his guitar practise...

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

The Affordable Shredder

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

Houdini's infancy.

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'My wife doesn't appreciate that I push the envelope every day.'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

'Time to rake up the leaflets.'

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

'Cat Heaven.'

Prayers To ZYP, The God Of Postal Service

"Having trouble with that paper shredder again, Barry?"

"That's our paper shredder."

'I really miss ripping things to shreds.'

Man has a shredder as an outbox.

"I feel like we have so much in common!"

'Look! The post is getting back to normal.'