Mail Shredders Pillows

"I've been preapproved for another credit card apparently because I have a pulse."

He kept up his guitar practise...

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

The Affordable Shredder

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

Shredder.

Houdini's infancy.

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'My wife doesn't appreciate that I push the envelope every day.'

Recycle Station for Confidential Files

"The food in your pantry may kill you, details tonight...on Eyewitness News!"

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

Eddie Van Halen.

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Junk Mail.

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

'Time to rake up the leaflets.'

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

'The sooner you are 'discovered' the better - you're costing your Dad a fortune in electricity!'

'And all these years I just thought you were very proficient.'

Prayers To ZYP, The God Of Postal Service

'Cat Heaven.'

Brother Ernest has been riding a skateboard for years and nobody knew!

"Having trouble with that paper shredder again, Barry?"

'I really miss ripping things to shreds.'

"That's our paper shredder."

'Look! The post is getting back to normal.'

"I feel like we have so much in common!"