Shopping Satirists Gifts

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

"Jack, we're going to Target not Walmart. Lose the curlers."

"Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen."

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"I went to the sales for a toaster, but they is all they had left!"

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

They get into debt so fast these days...

Pirates at the mall.

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Eye of Newt Helper

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

Financial Christmas

Mail-Order Yard Sale

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."