Shopping Sarcasm Gifts

"It's axiomatic that any line in which I'm interested will be discontinued"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

Pirates at the mall.

They get into debt so fast these days...

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

"How much is the sign?"

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

Shop signs.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

Great moments in shopping

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Self Checkout

Mail-Order Yard Sale

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

Financial Christmas

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."