Shopper's Surprise Fan Gifts

Instacart Substitutions

He looks so natural lying there...

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Play 'Misty' for me."

I love Museum Shops

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

'He's been shot!'

Toast kidnapper.

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

'Mr. Pennrose isn't so bad...when he gives someone a pink slip, he always draws a smiley face on it.'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

101 uses of a dead cat: toilet brush

House for Sale.