Shopper Extraordinare Gifts

One Size Fits All.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Everything's gone up."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Excess

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

It bag and no knickers!

"He was a computer programmer who liked to google news... shop on line... play computer games... entertain via face book... do his banking on the internet and asked to be shut down here on Reboot Hill."

You Shouldn't Have

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

Fashion Mistake.

Complex Carbs

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Men and Women's changing rooms

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!