Online Shopper Extraordinaire Gifts

"Y'know, you're really abusing Amazon Prine's two-day free shipping."

"I'm afraid this year due to the threat of terrorist attacks...customs controls...parking restrictions...I have decided to outsource the Christmas operation to Ebay and Amazon."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'You've got to give Tom credit. When he's searching for parts for his car online, nothing bothers him...and I mean nothing!'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Terms and conditions

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"It looked different on the internet."

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

You Shouldn't Have

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

The Evolution Of Man - Hunt and Gather/Point and Click

'Enough EBAY already!'

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

Men and Women's changing rooms

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

Caravan Club shop is selling Hold-Ups.